One of the more discouraging things I have noticed of late is how young people, especially young Christian couples, don’t seem to exude the happiness that God delights to give his people. When God commands us not to be anxious or worry (Matt. 6:25ff; Phil. 4:6ff), it is also the positive command to rejoice and trust in Him. Here are a few things God has been and is still graciously teaching me on how to be, (well for the lack of a better term), happy in Jesus.
1. Don’t Obsess Over Children. This is probably one of the biggest sources of worry in the Christian life. We spend hours upon hours obsessing over the way our children behave or how they make us look in front of other people. The sooner we realize that we are not perfect parents and therefore will not have perfect children, and we stop trying to, the more our experience will be filled with the joy of trusting God with our children. Children should be a source of happiness, not the robbers of it.
2. Don’t Obsess Over Money. We must realize that not only do our possessions come from God, but so too does the ability to acquire possessions. Money is good and useful in its place. However, we too quickly obsess over it and our love of it is quickly exposed when we don’t have a much as our covetous hearts believe we need. Obsessing over money is a sure destroyer of joy and happiness.
3. Don’t Obsess Over Grades. Straight A’s can be deceiving. Straight A’s may get the praise of others, while they receive the frown of God because humility and trust in Him were sacrificed in the process. I am amazed at how many Christians experience depression because they did not get the grade they anticipated. Even more, how many parents of small children obsess over the grades of pre-schoolers and elementary kids because they want to set them up for the right college. Yet there is not the same fervency for the children being used of God. Being used of God is far more important and the source of more joy than the college you attend – if you attend college at all.
4. Don’t Obsess Over Work. Work is a blessing from God. It demonstrates our being created in the image of the God who is ever working for His glory and the good of His people. However, when we are emotionally and spiritually up and down based upon the state of our work it demonstrates that we have ceased to trust in the God who created us and are trusting in our abilities to create our own realities. Obsessing over work is a sin that not only kills joy, but it hinders us from doing the work of the Kingdom of God.
5. Don’t Obsess Over Sports. Sports seem harmless enough. However, honesty should compel us to recognize when our emotional and spiritual well-being is effected by the score of the football, basketball, baseball, or (God forbid) soccer game. I like what Matt Chandler said recently, “If 19 year old boys are ruining your day because of what they do with a ball, that’s a problem.” Obsessing over sports, whether it is your favorite college team or your son’s or daughter’s little league, will inevitably steal joy because win or lose the joy of Christ is not foremost.
Lastly,
6. Do Obsess Over Grace. Here is the source of the joy that the Bible refers to as inexpressible (1Pet. 1:8); and the peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil. 4:7). Grace is the pleasure of God experienced by His people in the forgiveness of their sin. The more we are aware of our sin, the more pleasure we potentially experience and happiness we know because our sins have been forgiven in Christ. Let’s take our boast off of our children, grades, money, work, and sports and put it where it needs to be in order to bring us the most joy – namely the cross of Christ (Gal. 6:10). If we can take the passion with which we obsess over the first five and transfer it to our obsession with number six, happiness would not only mark out the people of God, but it would cause the world to stand up and ask, “What possesses you?” To which we would reply, “I am possessed by Him who did not spare his own son but gave him up for me and now delights, along with him, to give me all things in His time” (Rom. 8:32).